Saying there was a little trepidation as I took what was one HUGE leap of faith is about as accurate as calling the weather in Los Angeles slightly sunny! To give up where I was living and choose to house-sit and couch surf, what was I thinking? Looking back, I recognize that I had absolutely no idea what I was jumping into, and what I would learn along this path. Not even close!
Consolidating and releasing my stuff was one of the first, and maybe hardest, steps. Getting the rest of my “stuff” out of my friend’s apartment and into storage was the first hurdle, and I had a head start as the majority of my “stuff” was in storage already after downsizing from my house to an apartment share. Yet, that process continued (and yes, continues) to teach me detachment and flexibility as I shed and released what at one time I had thought was essential.
Giving up a consistent, relatively stable and reliable place to live was a huge initiation that opened (and continues to open) new lessons, understanding and growth for me. These blog posts are yet another level of growth as I “expose” myself! OK, I expose my own perceived self-image, powerful lessons, and truth of my journey to the world. My beliefs about being perfect and proper are crumbling as I write this!
The first house-sit (taking care of a friend’s place while they were on vacation) was perhaps the most challenging to adapt to. Yes I was, and am, hugely grateful for this space and all that followed (and still continue at this writing). I will share about the gratitude in another post. The emotional shift, mental self-talk, and physical adaptation hit harder than I had planned. Not that I had really planned that far ahead to be honest!
Looking back from 15 months down that road, I recognize how much I have grown, released, matured, deepened, and more (and that will be posted in my next entries, coming shortly!).
In the past, I have taken leaps of faith that were often way more powerful than I had anticipated. Moving to the United States back in 1981 with just one bright yellow Samsonite suitcase from England, not knowing what was ahead, was the biggest leap I had taken to that point, and there have been quite a few before and since that one.
Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane at over 10,000 feet was a more physical and literal leap of faith! I did have a parachute attached by the way, although for the first 5,ooo feet it stayed nicely tucked in the pack on my back! I have jumped out of trees (on belay) to grab a proverbial golden ring (although it was actually black in this case!). I have changed careers multiple times and lived in four different countries. On reflection, I guess leaps of faith are not so rare in my life! Each time, though, I have been changed for the better. Even so, it doesn’t seem to get any easier each time I get to the edge!
To quote Guillaume Apollinaire:
“‘Come to the edge,’ He said.
They said, ‘We are afraid.’
‘Come to the edge,’ He said.
They came.
He pushed them…
and they flew.”
I know from my own experience, this to be true. Perhaps you can relate: Getting yourself to the edge, and stepping/leaping over that edge are two very different experiences. Fifteen months ago, once again I leapt, on faith, and I have been initiated, once again!
It feels appropriate to begin this blog series with initiation. I have a few more lessons up my sleeve to share with you, so stay tuned, there’s more to come!
Oh, if you haven’t figured it out yet, the title breaks down to 37 different places I have stayed over the past 15months. I have stayed at some of these places more than once, so the actual count of times I have moved my stuff exceeds 40!
As always, I invite your comments and feedback.
PB&J
Barry.
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