The ego is a funny thing. For many it is what defines them (USED BY IT), and they daren’t venture beyond its confines. For others, it is like a cage they are trapped in. For still others, it is all that is. And for yet others, it feels like the controller of who they are and the most annoying part of their lives.
"Ego is to the true self what a flashlight is to a spotlight."
John Bradshaw
"Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent. Sigmund Freud Fabio kept asking me out, but I knew we’d never get his ego through the door."
Lorna Luft
"I think one of the interesting things about poker is that once you let your ego in, you’re done for."
Al Alvarez
"It’s in the act of having to do things that you don’t want to that you learn something about moving past the self. Past the ego. Bell Hooks Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? Bill Maher Never let your ego get so close to your position that when your position goes, your ego goes with it."
Colin Powell
"The ego constantly competes with the spirit for control over your inner voice."
Darren L. Johnson
"The ego is not master in its own house."
Sigmund Freud
"EGO – Edging God Out"
"If you want to make God laugh, make plans."
"Thy Will, not my will, be done."
"To Thine Own Self Be True."
Hmm, some religious/spiritual quotes here. Well, if you’re up for the ride, let me share some thoughts and insights that may make your reading (and perhaps your life!) a little clearer and easier, and also open up a deeper relationship with that which you may call God, The Great One, Creator, Universal Mind, The Great Otherness, The I AM presence, The Almighty, or even nothingness. This writing is intended as a personal expression and you are invited to interpret it (as with all my writings) as it fits in your life and world-view.
Now that’s out of the way, let’s open the box and look inside! There are some teachings out there promoting you to kill your ego, to destroy it, or ignore it completely, and metaphorically stuff it in a box and deny it air! That’s not where we’re headed here. We each have an ego (kinda obvious I know!). Our ego is as unique as we each are, not surprisingly, and without it, we would not be able to function in this physical human world (NEED IT), however arrogant, charismatic. self-aware or self-less we are. That’s all well and good, however, as much as it is a necessary part of us that helps us on our way in the world, it is not the boss of us!
The ego is how we reference ourselves most of the time, it is what we call our character, our sense of self (USE IT). And yet, there is more. We are more than our ego, in fact our ego is but a small aspect of our total being-ness. We are so much more than that part of ourselves we identify as our ego. Who we are as spiritual beings having a human experience puts a different spin on things, and certainly opens up doors and windows to a larger view of what is. The ego is part of our human experience, and is limited to our human experience, expression and confines.
When we are born, there is no evidence of ego yet. As we grow, our ego develops, although it seems to stop at a pre-teen stage, even as we grow and mature. At the end of life as we leave this physical existence our ego doesn’t go with us. It is left behind as well. Understanding that, it becomes clear that our ego is very attached to our physical existence while we are here. And it is also clear that as we temporarily detach from our physical perception while in our spiritual practices such as meditation, prayer, etc., are not where our ego is happy! In fact these are somewhat distasteful to our ego.
Have you noticed that when you spend time in meditation, how your body may become fidgety, or itchy, or aches? Or your mind keeps running when you wish it would stop? That’s the ego. As far as the ego is concerned, meditation is a form of death where you are leaving the physical, even momentarily. So the ego will get your attention so you don’t leave. It comes to this. Our ego is basically a nine-year-old with keys to the car, and it’s sitting behind the steering wheel. Yikes!
So your ego cannot be ignored, nor is it wise to let it run rampant! Truth is we are magnificent, powerful, incredibly creative, massively influential and dynamically loving beings, and we put our ego in charge of this vehicle without any guidelines or oversight. Hindsight yes, oversight not so much. So what to do? I’ve told my clients and students before that the mind is a great servant but a terrible master. It is wise to have the heart lead as master, and the mind follow as servant.
Our ego is based in our mind, and is a useful resource and vital for functioning in the world as I mentioned. However, accessing our deeper self, our core being-ness, leading from our heart with the ego/mind following is a far healthier and wholesome approach to living well and living authentically. How to do that? There are many ways, one of the simplest is to observe yourself and before you take an action or don’t take action, or say something or don’t say something, check in with yourself and ask where the motivation for that act came from.
You will know whether it is ego-driven or not. Over the course of a day or two, you will discover where your predominant motivation and drive comes from. Then, the work to change that begins. Working with a coach or at least an accountability partner will be very useful for that. Drop me a line if you’re ready. Over the course of my writings and posts I’ve been speaking of ways I believe life can be lived and be a whole lot more authentic, inspired and enjoyable.
This post is no different! This is the deeper work, and that which I am blessed to express with my clients. If my blog has assisted you in any way, I am grateful, and I definitely appreciate you sharing this with your friends. If you wish to take action and grow your eagle skills, I serve individual coaching clients and also have some rather special programs and packages for those committed to transform their experience in relationships! Contact me directly for more information.
As always, your comments are welcomed. Thanks for reading.
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