The first and most prevalent trap we get caught up in, particularly in Los Angeles, and most of the Western World is STATUS. Another way of putting it is we are trapped in the addiction of COMPARISON. Let me explain.
Status is an interesting aspect of the Western way of life. It is probably the cornerstone of what folks believed as the American Dream, however in the last decades it has become an addiction that has caused much grief and discord in our society.
Yes, it’s very nice to have the trappings of success. I like them myself, however for many people, the pursuit of status has become the be-all and end-all of ambition. Whether it is the nicest car, or the best yoga clothes (yes that happens!), whatever the trappings, it is a trap.
Status is, at the core, based on comparison, as I said. Comparison is a trap in itself, as the very act of comparing brings up your stuff of being less than you truly are. There will always be someone higher up your own scale of whatever you are comparing to, and someone below, so ultimately it is pointless, as you will never actually be king of the hill!
Achieving a status point in life is in actuality a plateau, and often we chase status to feel better (temporarily), and yet it pales very quickly when you are with yourself. The cars are nice, the great clothes are wonderful too, however the more invested you become, and the more important you make them, the larger the trap you build for yourself. Yes, I said trap (again!). Status is a temporary flag you place at the top of the mountain of your achievement. When you look around however, you will find there is always another mountain (or three) taller than yours. And of course you didn’t plan for the fact you are in earthquake country (to carry this metaphor perhaps a little far!), and your status could be shaken loose from your grasp by outside influences completely out of your control. Like the economic experience of the past year for example.
Then you get to start all over again, or lose any sense of accomplishment and get back on the road to achieve the next status symbol, and the next, and the next. It’s never ending, except with perhaps a heart attack or two, high blood pressure, divorce, friends who are more in love with what we have than who we are.
Sound appealing?
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?
When we get caught up in the desire for status, it is rooted in the need to compare ourselves to others, which automatically separates us from that other, even while we may be attempting to achieve status to fit in with that other. The truth is, it is guaranteed there is always, always, someone else who is better off in comparison with us, so it is a no-win situation.
It is innate in the human race to want more, to grow, however the true journey and quest is achieved first on the inner realms. Your growing edge is in how you live on the inside, and then your outside experiences will automatically mirror who you are. Yes, automatically.
HOW CAN YOU USE THIS?
If we had no status to maintain, then what do we have available?
For each of us to experience freedom, we must have little or no attachment to what we have. I am not promoting becoming a monk or hermit, however I am recommending enjoying what you have without looking to your neighbors stuff to see how you stack up. It’s a lot less stressful and actually frees up your energy.
In addition, the truth is most worldly things we grasp after are transient and temporary. Cars wear out, the value of money is constantly changing it seems. So be in pursuit of the quality of life, not the quantity.
What is your legacy? What do you want to GIVE to the world? That’s the true calling, and what I help you discover and embrace!
HOME EXERCISE
There isn’t one!
Although I do highly recommend you take a look at the “trappings” in your life. How do they stack up? Does anything you possess or own represent your status in life more than it serves a purpose in your life? Do you have the car you have because you enjoy it or it makes you look good in others’ eyes? Or your house? Your flat-screen TV? Your partner? None of these are bad, but the question is, for what reason did you choose them? Just something to consider.
If you feel you want the whole e-course (the three traps in PDF format) drop me a line and I’ll send it to you. If you feel you want a change, and this has awoken something inside you, I do offer my coaching and counsel in person or over the phone. You can also join my mailing list and I’ll keep you in the loop of my upcoming events.
To your best life! Be inspired.
PB&J
Barry.
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