Spiritual Bypass

How can you be spiritual and yet get upset?

Being spiritual means different things to different people. It may mean you have an understanding of who you are as a spiritual being, or have a spiritual practice of some sort, whether meditation, yoga, reading, or something else.

For some folks, it is important for them to be “nice” no matter what. In their realities, being spiritual requires them to feel they are separate from or even above the mundane issues of everyday life. These folks use spirituality as a means to take themselves apart from the daily grind, and to ignore the news and negative people, to perhaps be feel a little superior, and likely to be disassociated from their emotional conditions and states. If they say something less than “nice” to someone, or (Heaven forbid!!) they think negative or bad thoughts about someone or some situation, then they have failed to be spiritual. This is not you, of course, but do you know someone like this?

Perhaps you can support them with this.

Oh dear, what is one to do?!

Simply…get over it! OK, perhaps not so simple! Truly though, spiritual superiority is a contradiction, yet some people insist on attempting to live this way!

An authentically spiritual conscious person is one who doesn’t avoid dealing with their issues, rather they face their stuff, learn how to get through it and forgive themselves and love themselves even when they mess up royally. For many on the spiritual path, and who are on their way to, or even have reached spiritual maturity, this is a key lesson to learn.

For the newly minted spiritual person, the initial euphoria of spiritual awareness and understanding will wane dramatically the first time someone pisses you off, or when you get cut off in traffic (for the LA folks!), or your spouse / partner / children / boss / client / vendor / etc says or does something that triggers you (or they don’t do what you wanted). Often, this person or situation opens an old wound in your psyche, digs up memories from something deep in your past that you thought was dead and buried long ago. Surprise!! It is fresh and current once again.

Then all sorts of things show up in your awareness – anger, resentment, distrust, envy, fear, doubt, and/or some other disturbing emotion. The choice, ultimately, is yours.

At this point, you have three choices: ignore it (stuff it down, distract oneself from it, pretend it’s all OK), react to it/them (making them wrong to make you right for example), or choose to grow from it.

The first two options are, shall we say, less than spiritual. The latter choice, however, is the path of the true spiritual student! This requires the greater commitment, willingness and humility.

How does one heal and grow from this triggering and upsetting experience? There are many ways to grow from these situations, and I am deep in the midst of writing a book that includes these growth opportunities. Keep in touch, and I’ll keep you posted on the book and speaking engagements.

And for what it’s worth, I am by no means perfect at this. Much of the book is from my own growth and learning to live authentically! And I invite your thoughts and comments.

PB&J
Barry.

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